Understanding Men: The Three Things

I went to work a few weeks ago, and my boss ended up somehow lecturing us on how men think simply because I was trying to understand the mind of a male coworker.
At the precise moment this conversation began, this young man was looking down and away, seemingly distracted by what I assumed was thought. After asking him what was on his mind, he replied, "Nothing", and my boss decided to clarify that men don't actually think the same way women do (really? I had no idea. *Note: this is heavy in sarcasm*).

According to my male boss, men do think, but in specific patterns. There is always one of three things on a man's mind:

1. FOOD. When a man is hungry, apparently it's difficult to concentrate on anything else. When I was actually having this conversation with my boss, he was hungry at the time, and explained that, all he seemed to be capable of thinking about at the moment was where he was going for lunch that day and what he might order. Now, I'm not saying men can't function if they're not fed, I'm saying that, when they're hungry, it seems to be one of the main focuses of their mind. This is the biggest part of the triangle. If a guy is hungry, he isn't thinking about any of the other things on this list. Now, you and your beau have to go get something to eat at that restaurant he really wants to go to...

2. SEX. This is the one that women are the most familiar with, and think that it dominates male brains a majority of the time. It is number 2 on this list, just below food (which, frankly, is more important for individual survival, which would be important for survival of the species, so, from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense, and this is a run-on sentence), which means it does take precedence over something else men have a tendency to focus on. When a man wants sex, he can't think about the next thing on the list, but when he's hungry, he can't think about sex. Get it now? So, now that he's full, I guess you'll have to indulge him, so his brain blood will redistribute itself more evenly...

3. TOYS. This category encompasses all of the hobbies, jobs, etc. that men have. This could be hunting, fishing, video games, weaponry, cars, music, etc. Whatever his favorite to-dos are. This is the other thing men think about predominantly. Of course, it is third on the list to sex and food, so if he's hungry or horny, toys (unless they're sexy time toys) are the furthest things from his mind. After he's been filled to the brim with food and satisfied sexually, you've got to take him out shopping so he can get those new recording headphones he's had his eye on for a while...

I want to go ahead and tell you that this is not always the case of all men. Like, men are not all selfish assholes who can only focus on one of three things. My boss was just pointing out that, more often than not, these are the things men are thinking about.
Allow me to provide a comparison for the women reading this:

A woman can pick up a water bottle and her train of thought could, for example, go something like this:
"This is purified spring water. I wonder how they purify it? You know, there are children in Africa who can't drink pure water. Do they have bottles for them? Or purifiers? The water over there supposedly has worms and shit in it. That's gross. One time, I saw this episode of this medical show I watch where this girl came back from a third world country with worms in her lungs, and they had to give her special medicine, and she was afraid to tell her boyfriend because she thought he might be repulsed by her imperfections. Are men really that shallow? Well, I guess worms are on the inside, so it's not really shallow... But I mean, if he really loved her, he wouldn't leave her, right? Oh! That reminds me of a country song! And my friend Nina needs to see that video we made to that Brad Paisley song. Oh, those were some fun times. I do miss making videos with my high school friends. I wonder what Janet is up to these days? Haven't heard from her in years. Haven't seen her on Facebook, either."

Now, because I'm not a man, I can't provide an accurate example for men, but, as far as I know, their minds don't work exactly the same way as ours. I have talked to a guy who said he was notorious for thinking all the time, and didn't understand how it was possible for someone not to think. But the question I have is, what does he think about, then? I mean, what if you were at work and you were hungry from the moment you got there, and you couldn't go on break for several hours? As a guy, would you be thinking about food for that entire time span? Somehow, I don't think that's right or possible.

But then again, I'm a woman, and what do I know?

College Hours

I'm back on campus in college now, and I'm about to wrap up my second week (first full week) of classes. Upon going into one class and listening to the professor's standards, I quickly became discouraged. He said that, for every hour that we spent in class, we should spend at least 2 outside of class studying for said class.

So, out of curiosity, I did the math to see what that would mean. I have French for an hour a day 5 days a week, Chemistry for an hour a day 3 days a week, Anatomy an hour a day 3 days a week, Genetics an hour a day for 3 days a week, and Seminar for an hour once a week. So, for French, that's 10 hours a week, Chemistry 6, Anatomy 6, Genetics 6, and Seminar 2, outside of class. I spend 3 hours in Chemistry lab, 3 hours in Genetics lab, and 2 1/2 hours in Anatomy lab. Adding it all up, I spend 15 hours a week in class, 8 1/2 hours a week in lab, and 30 hours a week outside of class (without counting work I'm supposed to do outside of labs, also) that adds up to 53 and 1/2 hours on school work. If I add the outside lab work (which would add up to 17 extra hours outside of class a week), that becomes 70 1/2 hours a week on class work without extracurricular activities, which my college highly encourages us to take part in. Assuming I'm awake for 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, that means I have 112 hours total to do all this stuff. To put some more things into perspective I'm an officer in 2 different clubs, I'm trying to work about 20 hours a week, I have friends and a boyfriend, I was just cast in a play with rehearsals 5 days a week, and I enjoy having a few hobbies (like video games, reading, writing, hiking, etc.).

I've learned something about college:

I feel like the social life circle can include hobbies and extracurricular activities. The problem is, I've been trying too hard for the past 2 and 1/2 years to maintain an even balance between the 3, and instead, it seems like I'm failing at all of them. But I've noticed that, if I don't get enough sleep because I pulled an all-nighter to do homework, I can't focus in class the next day. If I don't get good grades, I can't spend my time out and about with my friends. If I can't do stress-relieving activities, I'll get to frazzled to sleep or focus. Honestly, we need all three, but it doesn't seem like we can have it all.

It's not high school anymore, though I am having fun in college. But don't expect me to actually spend 70 1/2 hours outside of class on classwork. I'm trying hard to broaden my horizons and take care of myself while getting a degree, like the people who recruited me to come here told me to do. Now, I'm going to sign off my blog and do some anatomy homework while texting my friends and getting ready for bed. Hopefully, they all work out before I wake up in the morning.

Why I Hate (and Appreciate) Living with Smokers

I'm a college student, so I've been at home on break for the past couple weeks, and this is something that crosses my mind every time I make the transition between dorm and home life. A majority of my family members all smoke cigarettes.

I was hoping, before I thought of posting this, that one of their New Year's resolutions would be to quit, but, with how many trips were recently made to the convenient store on a "beer and smokes run", I doubt that'll happen any time soon. Even though some of them have quit before, stress gets to people, and they have a tendency to revisit their old, bad habits for a sense of relief and familiarity. People forget that their actions have consequences on others, though, when they're caught up in what they want.

Here are some of the things I've learned about living with smokers:

1. They're wasting money. My sister and one of her boyfriends of college life past had decided to do a projection about how much money my parents spend on beer and cigarettes every year. This was during at time, however, before a few extra people picked up the bad habit. Think about it: a pack of cigarettes cost about $4.00 where I live. Now, consider that one of my family members usually buys a pack a day. There're 365 days in a year. Even if he skips buying cigarettes, say, half the year (let's round up to 183 days), it's still costing $728. With that number, keep in mind that he doesn't actually skip quite that many days. On top of that, we now have 3 people in the house with a similar habit. Even if they buy cigarettes only a fourth of the days in a year (let's go ahead and round to 91 days since it's close), that's 91 x 3 x 4 which is $1092. You know, spending money like that wouldn't even bother me (I've kind of always factored that kind of money out of our budget, anyway), except my family is always complaining about not having enough money. I mean, does it sound so crazy to say, hey, you know, if you quit smoking, we'd add at least $1000 more every year to our budget? I wonder if throwing around that amount of money would inspire some action on their parts...

2. They have to have the windows open in the car. On nice days, this is actually kind of lovely. During spring or early fall when the air is between 60 and 70 degrees, the light breeze coming from the open car windows is refreshing. But, when it's maybe 30 degrees outside and you're bundled up in the backseat, 3 car windows cracked, the frosty, dry outside air is not welcome. I understand that they have to vent the smoke and everything, but it's awful because what actually happens is that the smoke doesn't all make it out and ends up blowing into your face. Speaking of things blowing in your face...

3. There are ashes (and ash trays) everywhere. When that air blows in your face from the person in front of you in the car smoking his cigarette, it brings smoke and ash with it. Sometimes, my entire lap will be coated in ash, and sometimes, some of the ashes are still hot. Our house has ashes everywhere. There are ashes on every counter space and table top, embedded in the carpets, and lightly dusting every surface of every object that's laid on any open surface for any extended period of time. For example, I sometimes have to blow and/or wipe the ashes off the screen of my phone in order to use it at points during the day if I set it uncovered on a table. Also, there's an ash tray on almost every open surface in our house. But the thing is, they don't always use them. Sure, the trays are full of ashes and butts, but the bathroom sinks will never be fully clean again after having been used multiple times as an ash tray. I've tried to scrub the black flecks of ash dust out of the porcelain basin many times, but to no avail.

4. Everything in the house has been affected by the habit. Clearly, there can be ash everywhere, but that's not the only thing. There are burn marks in things. The carpet in places, one of the throw blankets, the recliner. Places where cigarettes have fallen on the floor, places where my dad's fallen asleep with a cigarette in his mouth. Our clothes smell like it. I can't smell it at home, but when I come back to college and I'm around people who don't smoke and there's not constantly the smell of smoke in the house, the scent of it is all over everything I brought home. My clothes that I cleaned, my suitcase, my purse, etc. My clean clothes don't smell clean, and I constantly am self-conscious. I remember I was sitting in class one day in middle school and some guy that would joke with me passed by and sniffed my hair. I remember him backing up and saying, "Your hair smells like smoke". I tried to wave it off, saying something about how I didn't like my new conditioner, but the comment stuck with me. I've had multiple people tell me that my clothes smelled like smoke. I'm sorry, I can't help it? The walls and ceiling are tinged slightly with brown smoke.

5. I worry about their life spans. Let me explain this one a little bit. Every time I hear one of my family members cough, it's not just a simple cough or two, and done. No, it's always a coughing fit that sounds like his lungs are full of gunk. A couple members both laugh a wheezing, smoker's sort of laugh. I'm worried that someone is going to end up with lung cancer. I want my family around to see my children graduate from high school, but I'm so worried that, if the habit stays, they won't. The thing is, they know it's unhealthy, but that doesn't seem to be enough motivation to quit.

6. I have first-hand experience with withdrawal. I've watched how irritable they get if they don't smoke after a certain amount of time. In fact, I deal with it all the time. If someone forgets to pick up a pack of cigarettes, we have to go out again a few hours later specifically to get the sticks. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing, either. See, I know how hard it is for them to quit. I want to go into the medical field, and, if I do so, I'm going to be dealing with people trying to quit drug use, so it's good to be able to see how they react and what I need to do to help. Like I said, people have quit before, and I was there while they were going through it.

7. I now have a disdain for the habit. Thanks to experiencing the habit so closely every single day, I know I'll never do it. In fact, people have offered for me to try, and I blatantly refuse. It's not that I'm trying to be a prude, it's just that I know what it can do to a person from experience, and I want to avoid that fate at all costs. I was even afraid to try smoking nicotine-free, non-addictive hookah because the act of smoking was always the same to me. The good news is, I'll never get addicted to cigarettes.

I understand why people do it, it's a stress-relief. But I just wish that people wouldn't. I mean, there are other options. I won't pester them about quitting, because I do believe it is supposed to be up to them. I love my family dearly and I will always love them, smokers or not, but I sometimes wish they would just kick the bad habit. I think we'd be happier without it.